Smoke and Mirrors
by lexie2
Summary: Five months after Lana's proclaimed officially dead a journey of discovery begins for Lex. Post-Season 6. An attempt to make sense out of the Lexana arc & what came next involving Lana/Lexana.
1. Void

**Title:** Smoke and Mirrors

**Author:** lexie

**Pairing:** Lexana

**Rating:** PG-13/R

**Summary: **Five months after Lana's proclaimed officially dead a journey of discovery begins for Lex.

**A/N:** The seed which led to my writing this fic was planted long ago; soon after the beginning of Season 6, to be exact.

As most of you already know, Chlex is my ship and Lex is the one and only character that I'm invested in. I've never been a die-hard fan of Lana's but once upon a time, when I began writing fanfic, the first pairing I wrote was Lexana.

It isn't a mystery either that I hated what they did with their arc starting with Season 6 and the whole fake!baby debacle. It made me hate a character that I just used to find irritating at times because of her emotional fickleness and her insecurities. Yes, all that it took was for TPTB to mess with Lex by butchering Lana and I went into extermination mode, although I've never had the heart to resort to full-time bashing.

Here's the first instalment of a fic intended to make sense out of the inexplicable mess that was most of Season 6 and whatever Lana and Lexana became next. The story starts at the beginning of Season 7 (Kara) and will make reference to past events as well as some occurrences featured in Season 7. Needless to say I will put my own spin on things, twist the timeline a little bit (but not too much) and blatantly ignore a few events, such as the accidental death of Dr Langston in Promise.

I'm not given to writing outlines, they usually get in the way of preserving the mystery that is always present in my fics. However, I decided to do it this once to make sure the fic won't get out of my hands or end up an eternal WIP, considering I'm too busy with RL and the writing of a complex multi-chaptered Chlex fic. Hopefully, there'll be updates every twenty days or so. I'm not planning on making this a long one.

Sorry for my long rambling. Enjoy!

**CHAPTER 1: **Void

_WEDNESDAY-OCTOBER 2007_

_XUJIAHU, __XUHUI__DISTRICT, SHANGHAI-CHINA _

It's been five months since she was proclaimed officially dead and, yet, she's been dead longer than that. Waking up, just breathing, has become an ordeal she's finding more difficult to face each passing day. Crossing the oceans and seeking refuge in the anonymity provided by the buzzing cosmopolitan life of Shanghai hasn't numbed the pain she's been carrying inside; it has simply enhanced the bottomless void that is her life now and made her loneliness more evident and painful. She's looking for ways to purge her soul after what she's done and knows deep down it's a dead battle because it's her forgiveness the one she needs and she can't find it in herself. And, what makes it even more difficult is the fact that she's certain she would do it again- sacrifice one life for another.

Three months ago her rebelliousness pushed her to defy the devil in an attempt to undo all the damage that had been done, to re-conquer everything he had seized, only to have her arm twisted once again. Never had she felt so tempted to burn in the pits of hell as that day when he heartlessly asked her to choose again; if only she had had a gun close at hand. She stood her ground in a futile attempt to prove to him he hadn't broken her spirit and he lashed out in the worst possible way; she lost the prerogative she had gained and condemned more than just her soul in the process.

Now, she snaps the mobile phone shut and, with an anguished scream, hurls the apparatus across the room and sees it crash against the wall and then fall to the plank floor in pieces. She's made a new pact with the devil and wishes with all her might God will deliver the prisoners His Nemesis took in His clutches the night she decided not to hide any longer. She slides to the ground like a broken doll and, lying in foetal position, cries until there are no tears left in her.

_A WEEK BEFORE- LUTHORCORP PLAZA- METROPOLIS_

A warrant has been issued for his arrest and he sits at the mahogany desk of his private office on the top floor of Metropolis' tallest building with glazed eyes and a faraway look. He can hear hurried people and muffled voices coming from the reception area, but they grow dim until they vanish to be replaced by other sounds. He turns his left hand and looks at his palm, fingering the wedding band which she slid on his finger seven months ago- the only living proof they were one once. Fresh tears well up in his eyes as he recalls the devastation of losing the child they conceived the night after the charity costume ball and how that tragedy deepened the chasm between them.

"Mr. Luthor, the helicopter's waiting. We should have you out of U.S. jurisdiction in two hours," says his personal assistant Gina, her voice only a distant echo.

_It's the first time I've ever felt this... satisfied._

_I was half-expecting the word "happy" to come out of your mouth._

_Happiness is just a feeling of euphoria. It's your brain chemistry going into overdrive. That's why so many relationships fail when the honeymoon ends and reality sets in._

"Lock down the perimeter. Secure the stairwell. The only thing getting in or out of here is that chopper," Gina orders two security men."Sir, you're wanted for your wife's murder. We need you to hurry," she entreats her boss, trying to catch his attention while he hears once again the words that Lana's voice whispered next to his ear as he took her for the second time the night she finally came to him.

_I will always love you._

"Her soft skin... and her hair... that half-awake smile when she saw me come in like... she didn't know if she was still in a dream. She was the only thing I was living for," he murmurs, biting his bottom lip to stop its trembling, recalling the morning after when he stood at the bathroom door just showered and with a towel around the middle looking at her lying naked in his bed.

"I'm sorry for your loss, sir. But right now we need to get you airborne. Police will be here any minute," replies his assistant sympathetically.

"I'm well aware of that. I'm turning myself in," he states, meeting her eyes for the first time.

He didn't have Lana's car blown up, but God knows he has many debts to settle after the dubious moral decisions he's taken of late. He didn't murder his wife with his hands and yet, he feels it's the blood that courses through his veins that has doomed their marriage and sentenced him to a life without love.

_WEDNESDAY-OCTOBER 2007_

_ST. IGNATIUS CATHEDRAL OF SHANGHAI_

Sunlight filters through the new stained glass windows of the Gothic temple and illuminates the central aisle shy of the pew where she's kneeling in prayer as if it deemed her unworthy of its warmth, forever doomed to the shadows. She's entered this place looking for comfort and the strength to survive what's yet to come. She can't remember when the last time was she confessed and feels the burden of guilt oppress her chest.

"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned," she murmurs, after closing the door of the confessional.

And words pour out of her mouth in a torrent seeking absolution, knowing that she'll come back soon for her torment is far from over. And, yet, she needs to confess to be able to breathe till the moment she's been yearning and dreading arrives.

_KANSAS STATE PENITENTIARY_

_I wasn't miraculously saved to run away from my demons, Keating. I was brought back to face them._

The words he told his lawyer still resonate in his mind as he sits in this jail cell, which has been his house for a week now; the physical embodiment of the prison he's been living in for months, if not years. He traces her mouth in the photo he used to carry with him in his wallet- the only possession he's been allowed to keep- and feels the ghost of her soft lips on his skin.

"Mr Luthor?" asks the warder, unlocking the cell. "You have a visitor."

"Any news on the status of model 503?" Lex asks his attorney, coming out of his trance.

"We're still looking for it. But I've got very good news. You've been cleared of all charges. You're a free man, Mr. Luthor," smiles Keating, seeing the look of distrust in his employer's eyes.

The expensive counsellor proceeds to explain the grounds for his release and Lex can't help but feel he's been mocked once again. Could it be? Dare he hope? He swallows the lump in his throat and interrupts Keating with a statement that leaves the lawyer speechless.

"He didn't do it. I don't care what kind of evidence there is. The man did not murder my wife."

The young billionaire doesn't understand what has driven him to state such a thing with so much confidence; a sixth sense and the persistent presence of Lana's essence around him gives him the certitude she's still alive.

_LUTHOR MANSION- EARLY AFTERNOON_

Although coming to an empty house used to be an everyday fixture in his life before Lana moved in, the quiet and the loneliness he experiences as he explores the rooms is like none he's ever felt in his life in Smallville. He now wishes _his _Lana, or even the stranger she turned into later, were here. Having a physically and emotionally distant Lana -like the one she became after Alden and Geoffrey's murders and the attempt on his life which ended up with her in the hospital- would be painful, but not nearly as unbearable as waking up without her in his bed.

The sight of the four poster in the master bedroom and the perfume of her delicate shampoo still persisting on the pillow he's holding in his hands bring him back to the night of the charity ball, the night she accepted to stop pretending they were just roommates, the night he thought there might exist a state called happiness.

"_What?" she asked with a shy smile._

"_Nothing. I just want to remember you like this," he replied in a husky voice, seeing her blush when he openly admired her naked curves._

"_You're talking as if you expected this to be the last time," she told him, holding the gaze of his intense blue-grey eyes._

"_I've learnt never to take things for granted in my life," he said, brushing a couple of hairs off her face. "Lana, are you sure this is what you want? " he asked while he mentally added 'Are you sure I am what you want?'_

"_I wouldn't be here if I weren't taking this seriously," she said gravely._

"_I didn't mean..." he started to explain._

"_I know what you meant, Lex," she interrupted him with a small smile, snaking her arms around his neck and making more room to accommodate him."I want to be here. For the first time in my life I finally know what I want."_

"_I'm glad," he responded, grazing the underside of one milky breast and feeling her tremble in his arms,"because I don't think I'd be able to let you go now that you're mine."_

"_Well, I feel the same about you, Mr Luthor," she sighed as he angled her body and sheathed himself in one swift stroke._

"_Are you OK?" he murmured, holding still in the quivering glove and hoping he didn't embarrass himself like an inexperienced adolescent._

"_I'm fine. And you?" she responded, arching her delicate hips to pull him deeper._

"_Lana," he croaked, closing his eyes tightly and turning away from her._

"_Lex, look at me," she told him, cupping his face in both hands._

"_I... can't," he replied in a strained voice._

"_I'm not made of china," she said, stroking his back._

"_I know it's been... too long for you," he told her, knowing by Clark's own confession they were both virgins the one time they laid together._

"_You're a sweet man..." she smiled._

"_Don't let that secret leave this bedroom," he chuckled, instantly regretting the quip as he felt its effect on his lower anatomy._

"_But I'm more than ready after all that foreplay in front of the fire of your study," she continued, proving her point by starting a tentative rocking._

"_God, Lana," he moaned, relinquishing part of the control and following her lead._

"_Open your eyes, Lex," she insisted a few moments later, placing a hand on top of the one that was gripping her hip to guide her motion._

_Her warm entreats, the feel of her pebbled peaks grazing his chest and the sweet clenching and unclenching brought him faster to the brink than any of those inconsequential one-night stands ever had._

"_Lana, can you...?" he asked her breathless, his mouth brushing her parted lips. God, he was going to embarrass himself!_

"_Yes," she panted, feeling her chocolate eyes glaze as he finally opened his and looked at her with so much hope and love and... yes... desperation reflected in them. "Let go, Lex," she murmured before clutching him tighter as their lips fused in a feverish kiss and with one last powerful stroke they both came undone._

"_I'm sorry," he said tensely a minute later, lying on his back and looking fixedly at the ceiling in an uncharacteristic show of vulnerability to avoid meeting her eyes. _

"_Why?" she asked, rolling on her side and propping herself up on one elbow._

"_I wanted our first time to be perfect," he confessed, swallowing hard._

"_And it was, Lex," she replied, stroking his arm and leaning forward to press a kiss on his chest._

"_Yes, so much for trying to dazzle you with my prowess," he laughed ironically. _

"_Were we in the same room just a minute ago, Lex?" she smiled smugly, sliding her left leg over the billionaire to lie on top of him._

"_It could have been better," he said with the ghost of a smile, tucking a couple of stray hairs behind her ear and relishing the feel of her soft curves pressed against him._

"_I like it the way it was. It was sweet," she told him, resting her head on his chest and listening to the now steadier beat of his heart. _

"_That's the second time you used the word 'sweet'. It's a term that nobody would think to associate with a Luthor," he responded, threading his fingers through her long hair._

"_I would never link it with a man like your father, but then you aren't him. You'll never be," she murmured holding his gaze and feeling a sudden warmth wash over her when she saw the way her words had affected him reflected in his eyes. They had been the right words to dispel the sudden awkwardness which had seized him after losing his trademark control during their lovemaking. _

_If Lex were another man, she would have expected him to utter then the words every woman dreams to hear on the lips of the one she loves, but the feeling he put in the kiss that followed and the way he handled her body as if it were made of the brittlest china more than made up for it._

"_So, Mr Luthor," she said with a mischievous smile when he let her lips go reluctantly," are you ready to show me that legendary prowess you were boasting about?"_

"_I knew after the incident with the Nicodemus flower that you could be a little minx," he replied in a velvety tone as he rolled them both over._

"_You know, you never told me what I did to you when I was under the influence," she furrowed her brow._

"_Maybe we should re-enact the scene one of these days," he whispered in her ear as he proceeded to love her the way he'd dreamt of._

"Mr Luthor, " says a muffled voice in the corridor after knocking discreetly on the door of his master's bedroom.

Disoriented and slightly aroused, Lex buries his nose in the soft pillow and inhales the sweet fragrance once again before clearing his throat and answering the call.

"I'll meet you in the study in twenty minutes," he tells his security man behind the door.

Refreshed after a quick shower and a change of clothes he opens the double doors of his inner sanctum and strides purposefully to his desk.

"What do you have for me?" he asks his minion as he leans back on his swivel chair.

"We applied voice-recognition software and, using our satellites, cast a net over every landline and cellphone on the globe," explains his assistant under his grave look.

"I don't care how wide your net is. If you don't find Lana, it's not worth the string it's made of," the billionaire spits at him.

"We have a match sir. She's in Asia," replies the man, and Lex feels his heart skip a beat.

"Where?" he queries, trying to keep the tremor out of his voice.

"China. Our GPS puts her just a few miles from central Shanghai."

Shanghai. He hasn't been to the city in three years and the memories of his last stay in the Chinese town while looking for one of the elements aren't precisely nice. Still, it's a symbol of the time when his feelings for Lana started to change and he realised she meant more to him than a mere business partner.

"Prepare the jet for takeoff," he orders his assistant, unlocking the bottom drawer of his desk to retrieve his passport.

"Yes, sir," nods the older man, leaving the study just as Lex presses a hidden button to reveal the concealed vault where he keeps a stock of foreign currency, bonds, one of his trustworthy semi-automatics and the recording of the last conversation he's ever had with Lana.

_Clark means more to me than you ever will._

The words keep coming back to his mind to torture him. Was he so blind that he'd deceived himself into believing she loved him? Is the woman who gave herself so passionately to him a consummate actress?

_I will always love you._

He needs to see her face again, to look into her chocolate doe eyes and find in them the answers he's been seeking for months. He needs to know why.

**A/N 2:** Several lines of dialogue have been taken verbatim or nearly verbatim from "Wither", "Phantom", "Bizarro", "Kara" and "Fracture".

**TBC**


	2. Of Forgiveness

**CHAPTER 2**: Of Forgiveness

_THURSDAY-OCTOBER 2007 _

_MATTEO RICCI ORPHANAGE-_ _XUHUI__DISTRICT, SHANGHAI-CHINA_

It's ten o'clock when she crosses the wrought iron gate of the old French Concession orphanage. Sœur Dominique is already waiting for her in the Rose Garden like every morning for the past month and a half. Despite the bittersweet quality of the experience, it's the only part of the day she looks forward to; today isn't one of those days. Only her promise to help the nuns with the baking for the Mid-Autumn Festival for which they've been working so hard convinced her to leave the cocoon of her bed after almost twenty-four hours.

"Bonjour, Lana," Sister Dominique greets her with a friendly smile. "Est-ce que tout va bien?"1 she adds, furrowing her brow on noticing the unmistakable trace of tears in her red-rimmed eyes.

The young French nun is the only member of the community that knows the secret she's been hiding from the world, and Lana feels tempted to confide in her again. A month ago Clark`s adolescent crush decided to open up to the religious young woman. It was a particularly emotional day since Lana came to the orphanage that afternoon to find out that the only baby boy in the place, to whom Lana had developed a special attachment, had been taken away by a British foster family. The brunette saw her world crumble before her eyes once again.

"Je n'ai peux pas trouver le sommeil,"2 replies Lana in a raspy voice.

"Is the reason you couldn't sleep connected with what we talked about last month?" asks Sister Dominique, inviting her to sit down on a bench.

"I've tried so hard to undo what I did, but it's like a snowball and I don't know if I'll ever be able to stop it," she sniffles. "I'm scared of what he might do. I defied him a few days ago and only made things worse. I made the call; I was ready to confess... I was a fool... He found out my new number and must have been monitoring the phone because I was disconnected before I could get to talk. It didn't matter anyway since he made sure the breach didn't go unpunished."

"What exactly did he do? " says the nun quietly. "Lana?"

"He's keeping me away from the one thing that's helped me survive all these months. "

"Can't it be fixed?" frowns the religious woman. "Lana, isn't there anyone that might help you?"

She feels the tears well up in her eyes at this question. She was naïve to believe coming clean with him would be the ending of her suffering. She won't know what it'd feel like to unburden her soul now because her arm's been twisted again to make a choice, and she's chosen to protect everyone involved in the only way she knows, by lying and deceiving a man who's been hurt and betrayed too many times in his life.

"Pray for me, Dominique. Pray for all of us," she says in a shaky voice, getting up from the bench and walking towards the entrance that leads to the kitchen.

_LEX'S LEAR JET- ON THE WAY TO SHANGHAI_

Sitting alone in the cabin of his private jet Lex plays the recording of his last conversation with Lana over and over again,

"_Clark means more to me than you ever will."_

He hears the resounding slap on her face and can't help but jerk a little every time. The stab of her words goes deeper with each new replay and yet, the desire to be able to turn the clock around and whisk her away from Smallville, from Clark, from the world that would never allow him… them… to be happy, is overwhelming.

"_That's the last time you'll ever touch me."_

Lex cannot manage to reconcile those words with the same young woman who surprised him in the middle of the afternoon to help him wind down after a particularly stressful tête-à-tête with his father or with the Lana who used to taunt him with her sexy underwear as a prelude to a long night of passionately tender love-making.

"_Do you really think I could just let you walk away?"_

"_What are you going to do, Lex? Kill me?"_

Kill her? Kill the woman who was destined to be the mother of his children; the woman for whom he'd crossed many an ethical line in his desperation to have her in his life forever? Never. He'd have never touched a hair on her head. He lived to breathe her, to taste her, to hear her laugh, to see her smile, to give her the world, to be touched and loved by her in a way he'd never been touched and loved before.

No, he would have never killed her. He might have had all her memories of Clark erased to give themselves a fresh start; that's how much he loved her and how much he feared the ghost which had always stood between them.

"_That's the last time you'll ever touch me."_

How ironical to talk about touching when she hadn't let him come close to her ever since the miscarriage. He had understood her reticence and respected her need for space; he loved her too much to deny her that or to impose his own needs on her, needs which went beyond the physical. He wishes she'd allowed him to mourn their loss with her; her rejection had added to his grief and had stoked feelings in him which shouldn't have been there, feelings which even now make him ashamed of himself. This flitting but powerful feeling of hatred towards their unborn child for taking Lana away from him haunts Lex; it tortures him with its unsavoury implications- that he's turned into a monster like Lionel Luthor.

_Forgive me_. The words fight to get out his mouth but get stuck in his throat. He hopes Alexander can hear him and know how much he was loved.

_LANA'S FLAT- XUJIAHU, __XUHUI__DISTRICT, SHANGHAI-CHINA _

After a long day working side by side with the sisters to bake moon cakes for the festival and then helping the nuns regale the children with fables as a prelude to burning some firecrackers, Lana makes her quiet walk home. 'Home'- such a big word for a lonely flat that is nothing but a hollow shell; a reflection of what she feels like. She wonders if she'll ever live in a home again.

She steps into the apartment, leaves her keys on the console table and, shutting the front door, hangs up her coat and handbag on the clothes

stand before making her way to the small bathroom to get herself ready for a shower.

Standing under the water cascading down her body, she massages the coiled muscles of her back and neck and feels the tears roll down her cheeks as she remembers another pair of hands, the touch of which she'll never know again.

It's ten o'clock when she leaves the bathroom wrapped up in her blue dressing gown and sits at the dressing table to brush her wet hair as she goes back in time. Today, a year ago, she gave herself to Lex for the first time. She wishes she hadn't stalled for so long, regrets having lost so much time. If she'd closed the book on the past sooner... Maybe things would have ended up the same way notwithstanding, and yet she can't help but wonder. If only she'd had the courage to embrace what she had in front of her eyes without hesitation and overcome her fear and insecurities. She knows that he would have put the world at her feet, do anything to make her happy.

"_I don't know if I can wait. How about we just run off and elope?"_

She continues untangling her long hair and feels new tears well up in her eyes as the memory of having him engage in this little ritual assaults her.

She wishes she'd given in to his impulsive suggestion.

It's almost dinner time when he parks his rented BMW in front of the building. He locks the car with the remote and looks up to the window on the top floor. He can feel the sudden quickening of his pulse when he sees the light of what he knows to be the bedroom on.

"_Lana's remains have all been positively I.D.'d down to every last strand of DNA."_

The words which Chloe spat at him in the underground car park of The Daily Planet buzz in his ears. He knows them to be nothing but the truth; he's had a team of LuthorCorp scientists go over the evidence more than once and still he refuses to believe. Lex Luthor knows better than to take things at face value for he's been burnt too many times.

As he climbs up the stairs, he wonders who awaits him behind the door. The signature on the lease- just a couple of initials- didn't give much away; and Lex wonders if everything's just wishful thinking on his part. The call and the satellite have taken him here; they've given him hope when he's got nothing else left to lose. Let his father call him pathetic; he just can't let go.

There's no bell; only an antique knocker. He lifts his arm to grab it and announce his presence and then changes his mind. Giving up the element of surprise would mean relinquishing the semblance of control he still has. He turns the doorknob instead and, surprisingly, finds out the front door has been left unlocked. He steps into the small living-room and closes the door quietly behind him.

The neon lights of the restaurant next door flash on and off as he takes in the surroundings and then walks slowly up the narrow corridor leading to the only bedroom. He can feel the blood pumping in his ears when he reaches the threshold and sees her in a blue satin robe. She's sitting in front of the dressing table with her back to him, and the vision takes his breath away. He follows the movement of the brush and remembers how much he loved being allowed to take part in the ritual.

If he didn't know better, he'd expect her to turn around with a smile and offer him the brush to help her. He wishes he could have a time machine built to recapture those evenings when he came back from the office to find her recently showered waiting for him in the master bedroom, sat in front of the dressing table in much the same way she is now.

He can smell the apple-scented shampoo across the room; the same brand she left behind in their bathroom and which he uncaps every night before going to bed and every morning when he gets up. He's always associated the forbidden fruit of Eden with Lana even before their awkward introduction at the stables; his first image of her at the Farmers' Market would be forever linked with the red apple from the Kent Farm he bit when she entered his field of vision for the very first time.

She seems to be too engrossed in front of the mirror to notice he's standing there.

Lana feels her hands tremble while she continues brushing her hair, feigning she hasn't heard him arrive, trying to muster the courage to face him and play the greatest part of her life. She puts off the moment, looks discreetly out of the corner of her eye at his reflection in the mirror, feels a tightening in her chest on seeing him alive... and free. He looks exhausted and she sees something flicker in his eyes as they rest on her body, something that she's aware he would do his best to conceal if he knew himself observed- naked pain and longing.

Lana wonders if the love which touches her skin will weaken her resolve. Deep in her heart she feels he'd understand her and yet, it doesn't make things easier or her decision less painful.

She sets down the brush on the dressing table and, taking the gun she's never parted from ever since her arrival in Shanghai, turns around and faces him at last.

"I'm impressed."

"I did learn from the master," she tells him, getting up from the stool and aiming the weapon at him.

Lana has learnt a lot by his side and can't help but remember what it felt like to be more assertive, to be cunning and manipulative like a Luthor when she blackmailed Dr Groll.

"I've come here to beg for your forgiveness."

Forgiveness. Although she's aware that Lex hasn't been 100% honest with her when it comes to his LuthorCorp projects, she has no doubt in her mind that everything he's ever done or kept from her has been to protect her, never to hurt her. She might resent him for that on occasion and yet she can't help but love him for the depths of his feelings for her.

Forgiveness is something she wishes she could ask of him right now.

"With a gun pointed at your head, you'll say anything, won't you?"

"I always knew you were smart, Lana. I didn't know you were brilliant... using my own science against me."

Project Ares. She remembers when she found out about it and how conflicted she'd been at the time. And yet, she can see the rationale behind its birth now despite its dubious morality. It was what she discovered later on that took her by surprise and made her ache even more for the love-deprived and desperate man she slowly fell in love with. It breaks her heart to have to use this as a weapon against him now.

"It wasn't science, Lex. It was your own psychosis. You cloned me."

"Not exactly. Model 503 was never alive. That's why you were able to wheel it out of my lab and place it in your driver's seat. By the time the car exploded, you were safe and sound while model 503, with your DNA, was being blown to bits. It was perfect. As far as the world's concerned, Lana Luthor is dead and buried."

Model 503 had been Lex's safe net, the only way he thought he'd be able to keep her with him forever if what his mother showed him two years ago ever came true. He ordered his scientists to use Lana's DNA when they found out they were pregnant and that Christmas started to haunt him again.

"And a dead woman can't be convicted of murder. You'll never hurt another person again, Lex."

She fights to keep her voice stable, visualizes someone else in front of her, imagines the words that are coming out of her mouth are being addressed to the one who really deserves them.

"I don't want to," he says quietly, stepping closer to her, running his chest into the nuzzle of her gun.

She tightens her grip on the weapon, feels her control over the situation slipping.

"Don't come any closer," she manages to say as new tears prick behind her eyelids.

"I deserve to die. Please, Lana," he begs her, covering her hand with his."Pull the trigger. I promise you the world will be a better place. Do it. Kill me."

He's got to believe she's capable of it, that she considers him to be the monster he's always feared he'd become, the monster most people- even the young man who used to call himself his friend- are convinced he is.

She can read in his teary eyes he means every word and it stabs at heart to see this man who's always been her rock, the one person she could always come to for support and understanding, so fragile and broken.

He's begging with his eyes for her to do it, to put an end to his misery and she's begging God to forgive her for prolonging his agony and hers. She wishes she were stronger, wonders if she isn't insulting him by underestimating his resources to deal with the sword of Damocles that is hanging over their heads. And yet she can't risk it, she can't risk losing him too.

Lex feels he's been spared just to have this moment with her. He's been denied everything that really matters in life and appreciates that, at least, he's been given the chance to see it all end in his own terms.

He's faced death on countless occasions, even been on the other side before being pulled back, and yet this is only the second chance he's courting it willingly. Unlike the painful images that rushed in front of his eyes during his overdose the autumn before moving to Smallville, the scenes which he's seeing now are all the happy memories of them, the treasured moments they shared when she was just a school girl coming to him for advice and the ones they made before everything turned awry.

Her hand loosens the grip on the gun and, biting her lower lip to stop it from trembling, she lets him grab the weapon and steps back as he handles it to remove the magazine.

No bullets.

Lex raises his eyes, puzzled, and meets her glassy chocolate orbs.

"If you want to come back to Smallville, you'll be safe. I'll take care of everything. You can live your life however you want," he tells her swallowing the lump in his throat.

He just wants her to be happy. He can't imagine a life without her and yet he'd never have her stay against her will. He's seen what that has done to her… to them. His darker and selfish side is struggling to get to the surface, whispers to him he gave her too much space after the miscarriage… that a Luthor would never give up something he wanted so easily. However, the memories of what his father's selfishness did to Lillian are too strong. Lex still wants to believe he can be a better man and husband than his father's ever been. He won't repeat his father's mistakes. This is his one last chance to prove to himself and the woman he still loves more than life itself that he can be the man his mother would have been proud of.

No words are exchanged; somehow they would fall short of the intense feelings which are present in the room.

Lana sees him turn his back on her and start to walk down the corridor. She experiences a sudden surge of panic on being left alone to fight against an enemy she isn't sure she can defeat on her own. Her mouth opens to call him back, to beg him to stay, to tell him all; but then she remembers what would follow and no words come out. She's seen it happen before and knows the threat to be real.

The door closes, leaving her standing in the middle of her dimly-lit bedroom and- as the sound of his steps recede- she crumbles to the ground, fighting to keep her sobs silent lest he hears her from the corridor and comes back. She's tired of crying and can't wait for the moment of deliverance to arrive.

The unexpected shrill of the phone interrupts her emotional relief.

"He..llo?" she hiccups, wiping away the tears with the heel of a hand.

"Compliments on a job well done."

"How..?"

"You didn't think I'd be so careless as to leave my biggest investment out of my sight," chuckles the voice on the other side of the phone.

Lana feels violated.

"Wasn't it enough to take everything away from me that you had to plant cameras and microphones and steal every private moment of mine? Did you put them in my shower too?"

"Careful, Lana."

"Now that I've delivered, I want what you promised," says she gravely, biting back the scathing remark which she wishes she could spat at her interlocutor.

"I've just transferred $10 million dollars to an account open in your name at Credit Suisse."

"I don't want your filthy money. This has never been about the money and you know it. I want what you promised. I've done everything you told me to, backed up every lie you came up with. It's done. Now it's time you kept your part of the bargain."

"There's been a change of plans."

"You can't do that," she chokes, tightening the grip on the phone.

"I can and I have. Take the money, Lana. Start a new life. Away from a family you've never been equipped to understand or belong to."

"I _am_ part of the Luthor family now and you can't do anything about it."

"Your divorce papers are on their way to Lex's lawyers."

"That won't change anything and you know it. Besides how can you be so sure he'll sign them?"

"Oh, but he will! I know him, Lana. He'll do it if he thinks it's what you need to be happy. "

"You seem to forget Lana Luthor's dead."

"She isn't any more. Linda Lake's posting the exclusive in The Daily Planet. It's time to come back to the real world."

**A/N 2:** Several lines of dialogues have been taken verbatim or nearly verbatim from "Promise" and "Kara".


	3. Found

**CHAPTER 3**: Found

_FRIDAY-OCTOBER 2007 _

_LUTHOR MANSION- SMALLVILLE _

The flight from Shanghai was uneventful and they landed in Metropolis on schedule. Unlike others who prefer catching up on some sleep to lessen the effects of jet lag, Lex has never been one to waste time on something as prosaic; transcontinental flights have always provided him with invaluable interruption-free time to work on the best strategy for a new acquisition or project. Only when Lana travelled with him did he take a respite. On this occasion, however, not only was it impossible for him to do anything remotely businesslike during the flight, his mind was too full of her and the emotions which had transpired in that old Shanghai flat to wind down.

He still can't wrap his mind around the fact that she's alive after mourning her death for five months. He'd hoped the phone call which his men had traced would lead him to her and not a dead end. And yet, the shock of seeing her in the flesh again, of touching her warm skin is one he doesn't seem to be able to shake off. He flew all the way to Shanghai looking for answers and came back empty-handed; seeing her as broken as he himself was made his resolve falter because the Lana he came face-to-face with wasn't the same woman who had left him five months ago.

"_That's the last time you'll ever touch me."_

He touched her again. She let him. And for a moment, one which felt like an eternity, he thought it would be the last time he'd ever feel her soft skin and the quickened beat of her heart. He believed it would the last time he'd be able to look into her chocolate eyes, standing close enough for their breaths to almost mingle. Then he saw something flicker in her eyes, watched them veil with unshed tears and hope returned to him.

Maybe he's been right all this time. Lana still loves him.

It's almost seven in the evening when he walks into his study and, leaving his overcoat and briefcase in one of the leather upholstered armchairs, he loosens his tie and pours himself a snifter of vintage bourbon. He takes a big gulp and lets the alcohol warm him.

He'll give her time. He'll curve his overwhelming need to get answers... He can do it. It won't be easy, but if that's what it takes to have her back in his life in some way, he's willing to try. He'll do anything for a second chance. And in the end, if stepping aside is the only way to secure her happiness, he'll sacrifice his for hers.

All this is going through his mind when he approaches his desk and notices the folded legal document carefully placed on his blotter. It's the third time he's seen one like it in his twenty-seven years, but he's never been served one. He's always been the one to initiate the proceedings and he can't remember ever feeling this devastated.

Divorce. Lana is asking him to grant her her freedom, to let her go. He wonders when he'll learn that hope can only be short-lived when your name's Luthor.

_SATURDAY-OCTOBER 2007 _

_MATTEO RICCI ORPHANAGE-_ _XUHUI__DISTRICT, SHANGHAI-CHINA_

Like every Saturday after Mass Lana walks to the orphanage to help the nuns serve lunch and then entertain the kids for a couple of hours. Every step that takes her closer to her destination makes her heart bleed a little more for everything she's lost and everything she's denied. She doesn't feel like repeating her weekly routine today, not when it reminds her of what she was promised by the cruel voice on the phone; a promise which had kept her going, given her hope and the only justification to twist the knife in Lex a little more.

"Lana, you've come," smiles Sister Dominique.

Immediately sensing the young woman's unrest, the nun tells the boy who's been helping her pick some vegetables in the orchard to go look for his playmate. "Va jouer avec Xiang, cher."

Lana observes the child rush away with a big smile on his face as he shows his friend the delicious red apple Sister Dominique gave him as a reward for helping her with the vegetables. And Nell Potter's niece's suddenly transported to another October morning- six years ago.

She was walking through the Farmer's Market, a green fifteen-year-old girl full of dreams and fairytale endings, when she looked up and her eyes met his blue-grey ones for the first time. He smiled at her while biting into a Kent red apple; a tragic and jaded modern-day Adam to a naive small town Eve. It'd take him another day to come looking for her at the stables.

"_You must be Lana. It's a pleasure to finally meet you. "_

"_We've already met. "_

"_I seriously doubt I'd forget meeting you. "_

"_You were a little preoccupied at the time. "_

"_I get the feeling I didn't make a great first impression. "_

" _When I was ten, I went to Metropolis for a riding competition,. Your father invited us to stay over. My aunt said you had an indoor pool. When I went to check it out, I found you and a girl skinny dipping. I think you were teaching her the breast stroke. "_

Lana wonders if any other woman has ever seen him blush; she wants to believe she's been the only one.

"They grow so fast, don't they?" says Sister Dominique, her voice just a distant echo in Lana's ears.

"_That was you? Wow. You're all grown up now."_

" We're having a party to celebrate his third birthday in a week. Will you help us with the arrangements?"

"Sorry, I zoned out for a moment. What were you saying?"

"Chang is turning three next week and I was wondering if we could count on you to help organise his party."

"I... I'm afraid I can't. I won't be here."

"Oh... Then he has agreed to..."

There's no need to make names; they both know who the 'he' is that Sister Dominique's just referred to.

"No," Lana shakes her head, biting her trembling lower lip. "I should have known better than to trust him. I've been deceiving myself all these months, thinking that I could have at least that. The minute I woke up that first morning I knew it'd come to this. It's all his ever wanted- a second chance to rectify everything that went wrong the first time. He tried it once but God was merciful. It caused immeasurable pain, but at least an innocent soul was spared..."

"You'll let him do this?"

"What other choice do I have?"

"What he's done is a crime. You're a strong young woman, Lana. In the months I've known you you have gone through very difficult times and always managed to find the way to raise your head again. You can't give up now."

"I won't. I'm not, but I can't do anything from here. I need information I don't have. I've been talking to a disembodied voice for months. We've only met face-to-face twice since last February; the rest of the time he's just sent emissaries or called me from an unlisted, untraceable number."

"What happened yesterday?"

"What do you mean?"

"Something happened after we saw each other for the Festival. You wouldn't be thinking of going back home if that weren't the case."

"I have no home."

"But you yourself said..."

"Lex came to see me yesterday evening."

"Did you talk?"

"He asked for my forgiveness. Isn't it ironical? "

"Did you tell him the truth?"

"No."

"Lana, he's got the right to know. Your husband's a powerful man. Based on the talks you and I've had, he seems to be very protective of those he loves. If he knew..."

"Don't you think I don't know that? I did try to tell him twice. The first time he almost died and the second time... he was framed with my murder. You don't know who we're dealing with, Dominique."

"Where are you planning to go?"

"I have an aunt in Metropolis; but I don't want to drag her and her husband into this mess."

"You won't be able to pull this off without someone's aid... Have you ever been to New Orleans?"

_MONDAY-OCTOBER 2007 _

_THE DAILY PLANET _

The bullpen of Metropolis' leading newspaper is buzzing with activity when Clark climbs down the stairs looking for his loyal sidekick, Chloe Sullivan.

It has been another busy week for the wannabe superhero. Even though he is used to juggling several balls at a time without breaking a sweat, the search and chase of the most dangerous zoners around the globe is taking its toll.

The past months have been particularly hard. Seeing his former best friend marry Lana had been a difficult pill to swallow, but having to deal with the young woman's death... murder... was devastating. And now, when he is in the middle of a crisis of epic proportions that is threatening the safety of his adoptive planet, Clark sees his world turn upside down at breakfast.

"Did you know about this?" he spits at the blonde reporter's back, making her jump and drop a file whose contents end up scattered all over the place.

"Geez, Clark! Good morning to you too. You almost gave me a coronary," pants Chloe, picking up some of the stray documents.

"Did you know she was alive?" he insists.

"No, I didn't. Look, I know I might have covered up for her if she'd asked me... to protect her in some way, but it wasn't the case. "

"So she didn't talk to you."

"What is it with you, guys? First Lex and now you."

"Lex?"

"Yes, he came to see me a few days ago, demanded I told him the truth about Lana's whereabouts. I told him he needed some serious psychiatry. "

"He did?"

"He appeared to believe I had aided her to disappear. I thought he was delusional, that it was another trick or that guilt was making him come up with conspiracy theories because he couldn't accept he'd killed her. It seems he wasn't lying."

"If he didn't kill her then..."

"Lana faked her own death," she completes his thought.

"And framed him?"

Chloe can read doubt in Clark's words; it is no real surprise considering who they are discussing, Lana can do no wrong in his eyes. She thinks differently, isn't blinded by love; Lana is as human as they all are. Well... Clark isn't, but not even he is perfect. And still, this is one of those occasions on which she is inclined to support his reservations. She doesn't know what it is; it's simply a feeling in her gut that tells her things aren't what they seem. It's a riddle and she lives for unravelling them.

LEX'S OFFICE- LUTHORCORP PLAZA

_"When I was with Clark, I would have said yes without hesitating." _

Lex leans back on his swivel chair, a snifter of bourbon in one hand as he fingers the divorce documents he's been carrying on him for a couple of days now. Irreconcilable differences.

_It must be eating at you that she's hesitating - wondering why she hasn't given you an answer._

_I guess it would... if I didn't know what the answer was going to be. You see, I highly doubt she'll say no, Clark... now that she's carrying my child._

He drinks what remains in his snifter in one big gulp; doubts about the real reason behind her acceptance of his marriage proposal plaguing him once again. Would she have said yes if she hadn't been carrying his baby? He can't help but remember the day she miscarried; everything changed between them.

He got so scared when she told him she was expecting. Clark thinks he impregnated her to tie her to him, to force her hand and have her put an end to her never-ending soap opera with the farm boy. He didn't; a shrink might have a field day with Lex and his subconscious motivations but having a family, creating life with the woman he loves would never be a cold and calculated decision. He wants his children to be wanted, to know they've been brought to this cruel world because their parents love each other not because their father is some sick monster obsessed with games of power even outside LuthorCorp's board room. He isn't Lionel. His children will never be unfortunate mistakes; they'll never feel unworthy of being loved.

Clark might believe Lex married her because he saw her as a pawn in their bitter battle against each other, that he finally became the soulless bastard Lionel had tried to raise, and yet Jonathan Kent's adoptive son couldn't be more mistaken about his enemy's feelings for Lana. Yes, he is desperate to be loved and accepted, but if he hadn't been so carried away by the passionate young woman in his arms the night of the costume ball, he would have never sheathed himself in her welcoming warmth without wearing protection. She repeated the very same words she'd uttered the evening she accepted to become his wife and his broken and abused soul was reshaped in an instant; overwhelming emotion blinding him for a blissful moment.

_I'm done looking back. I have someone right in front of me who I know trusts me... and who lets me see sides of him no one else does._

It only happened once because as much as he'd dreamt of raising a family with her, the thought of her dying at childbirth was too unbearable to risk losing her. The time would have come, his scientists were already working on the research started by Dr Dinsmore; a couple of breakthrough advances and his happiness and Lana's would have been complete.

_I will always love you._

And yet, Fate is always out to mock Lex and ruin his best-laid plans. Once was enough.

He fidgets with the documents in his hands again. Lana's never been that good an actress.

_I was thinking, what if we announced it tonight at the party?_

_I-I don't know if that's a great idea. I think that tonight should be about our engagement._

_It sort of feels like you're in denial, like if no one finds out about the baby, it doesn't exist._

_Lex, do you know how many people are looking over my shoulder, second-guessing why I'm marrying you?_

_Am I that hard a sell?_

_I don't want people assuming that we're getting married because of this baby. I want them to know that I'm with you because I love you._

No matter what happened after they lost Alexander and how many times he's been duped by the opposite sex, he knows deep inside that the Lana who talked to him in that nursery room loved him.

His Montblanc lies uncapped on the blotter.

He stares into space as the words that she said to Chloe in his study when Bronson had abducted him resonate in his ears.

_I've had so many doubts about this relationship, so many suspicions. But now that he's gone, none of it matters anymore. I just want to see his face again. _

He promised her in Shanghai that if she wanted to come back, she'd be safe; that she would be able to live her life however she wanted, and he intends to keep his word.

All the doubts, all the suspicions don't matter any longer. He just wants to see her face again.

He grabs his fountain pen and, taking a deep breath, signs his name on the dotted line.

**A/N:** The flashbacks in italics have been taken verbatim from "Metamorphosis", "Hydro", "Crimson", "Phantom" and "Fracture".


	4. Pretending

**CHAPTER 4**: Pretending

_LECLERC PLANTATION- LOUISIANA- OCTOBER 2007_

Lana's return to The States wasn't as high-profile as would have been expected of a Luthor. Wanting to preserve her anonymity for a longer while she wore a blonde wig and altered her make-up. The camouflage protected her from prying eyes in New Orleans and was discarded as soon as she'd settled down on the plantation belonging to Sœur Dominique's family.

The French nun's cousin and his young wife opened the doors of their home to her and pampered her with their southern hospitality. However, Lana is anxious to get back to the real world now that she's been pulled out of her forced exile.

"Everything's set," states the attractive Creole, sitting down at the breakfast table.

"I don't know how I'll pay you for what you're doing for me," replies Lana, setting down her half-empty cup on the saucer.

"I've been waiting for an opportunity like this for years. It's I who should thank you for letting me help. Enjoy your breakfast. Jacqueline will give you a hand with your packing and you'll be able to be leave; that is, if you haven't changed your mind. You know that you're welcome to stay for as long as you wish."

"I appreciate the offer, but I can't hide forever, Louis."

"OK. I've arranged a car to take you to Smallville. The ball's rolling; all that's left for you to do is wait."

_THE KENT FARM- SMALLVILLE- THE FOLLOWING MORNING_

It's mid-morning when she arrives in the rural Kansas town which saw the Fairy Princess on the cover of Time magazine grow into the secretive young woman she now is. Smallville both attracts and repulses her for it's full of happy memories as well as of dramatic loss; it is the town which gave her friends and her first teenage love and, above all, it is the town which introduced her to the first grown-up who believed in her, and then helped her mature and stand on her own feet. Still, Smalville is also the town which took her parents away from her and stood in the way of Lex's happiness and hers. Given the choice she'd have never come back and yet, this is the place which holds the answers she's looking for.

She knows that returning to Smallville is a dangerous gamble, that she is tempting fate and twisting the knife in both Lex's and her wounds by seeking refuge with the boy who used to be his best friend and the ghost that poisoned many of their days as a couple. She also loathes being this unfair to Clark, encouraging feelings with her return to Smallville and him which she'll never be able to fulfil because her heart lies with somebody else. She, who has always hated lies and accused the farm boy of not trusting her, is ready to lie to his face and keep secrets from him.

She doesn't want to hurt Clark, but it is a necessary evil and when all is said and done she hopes he'll understand and forgive her. She spent most of her teenage years trying to unravel the mystery behind the farmboy and now she no longer cares about what he's been hiding; it is enough for her to know he'll protect her the way he used to- he is the only one she knows who can. Trusting him so blindly makes her feel a traitor to Lex in more ways than one and yet, it is the only way she could think of to give him what he's always had to procure for himself.

_I never had anyone protect me like that._

"Lana, I thought you were gone. If you knew how that felt..." says Clark in disbelief, cleaning the grease off his hands with a cloth and giving her a bear hug in the barn.

She feels the prickling of tears behind her eyelids. Warm as they are, his are the wrong arms. His clean and natural scent isn't the sophisticated and sensual perfume she misses on her pillow. And the strong muscles she can feel wrapped around her slim frame are the ones which have pulled her back from the brink of death more than once, but they aren't the muscles that have been pierced by bullets aimed at her or the ones to which she's clung in the throes of passion.

And so begins her life as a fake diligent farmer's partner; keeping home for her once boyfriend and denying him what is no longer hers to give, her heart and her body.

_THE KENT FARM- A FEW DAYS LATER_

Days drag on as she waits for Louis' plan to yield the desired result, days filled with furtive meetings, hiding on the farm from Clark and her newly-arrived cousin for fear of having her best-kept secret revealed.

Only when both Kents are away is she able to breathe again and shed away the hypocritical mask and empty smile which have become second nature to her ever since her return. And it is one morning, when she finds herself alone, that her last memory of the Kent farm assaults her.

Standing at the foot of the stairs, her hands holding a basket full of laundry she's just removed from the washing line, she is suddenly struck by a flashback which plays in front of her eyes in slow motion as if she weren't the protagonist but an unwitting witness.

"_Who is this?"_

"_You can't hide from me... not even in Clark Kent's bedroom. I know everything about you."_

"_I don't care what you know or how you know it, but there's an army between us, and you're never going to get close enough to touch me."_

"_I'm closer than you think, Princess."_

She looks up at the landing and sees once again Lex's security chief- Brady- his throat cut, lying in a growing pool of blood in front of Clark's door. And then she observes herself grab his gun as her mobile phone rings again.

_Why are you doing this?_

_Because you deserve it._

The nightmare started then, the minute Brady reached out his hand to grab her ankle and the shock sent her stumbling backwards, falling head over heels down the stairs to land at their foot like a broken doll.

"_Hi, sweetheart. You're okay. You're in the hospital now, and you're in good hands. Mack called Dr. Langston," Mrs Kent calmed her down as she woke up._

"_That was quite a fall you took, Miss Lang," stated her doctor, going over her chart._

"_All I care about is… " she replied with a note of panic in her voice._

"_The baby will be fine. Would you excuse us, Mrs Kent, please?"_

" _Yes. I'll be outside," said Clark's mum, squeezing Lana's arm gently._

" _The only thing I'm concerned about is your blood pressure, which is running a little higher than I'm comfortable with, so I'm going to give you a mild sedative, and that'll bring it right down."_

" _No," she tried to protest, shrinking back when Langston approached her with a syringe._

" _No, it won't hurt the baby. I promise," Langston murmured as the sedative started to take effect almost immediately and she slipped into unconsciousness._

"Lana?" comes a distant voice from the kitchen, bringing her back to the present.

Lex.

She knew he'd come, but she hadn't expected it to happen at such a vulnerable moment when the memories are so fresh in her mind and the tears are still glazing her eyes. And she can see him, standing in front of the storm door of the kitchen, the morning sunlight filtering timidly into the room throwing them both into an ambiance of shadows and pale lights.

She finds comfort in the dimly-lit room, entrenching herself behind the polished table placed on the raised-level dining area. She can't let him see she's been crying or that he affects her as strongly as he does, especially when her feelings have nothing to do with remorse or hatred. She needs the physical barrier not to run into his arms and confess it all. She needs the distance to be able to pull this off. She needs the shadows for him to buy her act.

"Lana… I got your message. I guess it would have been a little awkward for you to come to the mansion."

"You promised you'd take care of everything, that I could come back to Smallville."

" Well, with a little persuasion, the, uh... the D.A. has agreed to not press charges. The evidence has been destroyed, and the felon my father bribed to confess to the crime died in prison of natural causes. You - you're a free woman. "

The hesitation and the broken quality in his voice when he takes from his overcoat what she knows are the divorce papers almost undoes her. It makes her heart bleed to see him and hear him like this and to know herself responsible for this emasculation. It doesn't matter that her hand isn't that of the actual perpetrator, it is enough that he believes it. And fear overwhelms her, fear that when he puts his armour back on he'll smother the love she knows he still feels for her driven by resentment towards the woman who dared break down the walls around him and play him like a fool.

"My lawyer 's drawn up the settlement agreement. It only needs your signature," he adds in a resigned tone which sounds so alien coming from the man she fell in love with.

" I don't want your money," she tells him, feeling her mouth suddenly dry.

"Should I assume that excludes the $10 million you skillfully siphoned out from under me?"

Ten million dollars. It appears that is the price nowadays to compensate a woman for losing the man she loves and the new life they created the night of the Costume Ball.

"I was trying to escape."

The lie tastes bitter in her mouth but keeping the pretence protects him; it protects them all, so he allows him to believe she is no different from all those blood-sucking bitches who never cared about him. Better this than the fate she knows awaits him if she were to fight to clear the tainted image he now has of their love.

" I'm not admonishing you. I'm applauding you. It's not every day someone is clever enough to manage a coup like that. Although I'm not sure Clark would see it that way. "

Moving in with Clark was the right move to play on Lex's insecurities and cement in him the belief that she is ready to put the past behind and start afresh with the boy who's always idolised her.

"I understand he has a cousin visiting."

" From Minnesota."

" I look forward to meeting her," he finishes, opening the kitchen door to step out into the light, leaving her in the shadow.

Kara is now a distraction and Lana welcomes it. Lex busy with a new riddle to unravel is preferable to having him completely focused on theirs; it gives Lana hope. The wheels have already been set in motion and Lex's observant eyes and sharp mind can only get in the way.

_THE DAILY PLANET BULLPEN- A WEEK LATER_

"What's up, Lo'?" asks Chloe on seeing her eldest cousin ruminating behind her desk.

"I'm sitting on a big lead and the editor's just ordered me to back off. He says there's no story there_. Head out to the set and sniff out a scandal. _Those were his exact words. I don't care what game Luthor's playing but…"

"Lo', maybe our editor's watching out for you. I know that you've got a big grudge against Lex because of what happened to Wes..."

"Don't tell me you are among those who've bought cue ball's new act, Chloe. "

"I haven't said that. Has this got anything to do with what you were working on a couple of days ago? Lo', you know those initials aren't enough to make a case. "

"Well, I'm getting quite good at reading people and that poker-face he wore when I confronted him yesterday evening told a whole different story," smiles Lois smugly.

"You should know better than to stir a hornet's nest when there's a Luthor around, Lois."

"When has that stopped you?"

"That's why I'm warning you. I know what it's like to get tangled in a Luthor's net. Now it's too late to back down, so I suppose I'll have to give you a hand, but we can't do it from here, it'd be suicide _if_ he's actually involved."

_LUTHOR MANSION- SMALLVILLE_

"I want to know who authorised this and I want the information on my desk before the day's over."

"We'll do our best but these things take time, Mr Luthor."

"I'm paying you for fast and accurate results. If a former reporter from a second-rate small town paper could dig this up, it can't be that difficult to identify who's behind this. I want to believe my hired employees are much better than a would-be journalist barely out of high school. I'll have the results on my desk by seven today. Is that understood?"

He's been too busy trying to find the angel who's given him another second chance and things, important things, have been escaping his radar. Being outsmarted by a cub reporter with an attitude is inexcusable, least of all when what is at stake is a lot more than a project or the Luthor millions.

Lois Lane has provided him with the strongest lead to help him understand why and he has no intention of letting the chance pass him by.

**A/N:** The flashbacks in italics and portions of dialogue have been taken near verbatim from "Arrow", "Trespass", "Fear" and "Action".


	5. The Conspirator

**CHAPTER 5**: The Conspirator

_THE KENT FARM- SMALLVILLE_

It's seven in the morning when Lana wakes up sobbing, the sound of a baby crying ringing in her ears, her heart hammering in her chest and tears rolling down her cheeks. She's fighting to take a breath as if she'd been running a marathon.

It takes her a couple of minutes to get her bearings and realise the walls of her room are the wrong colour and that the light she sees is actually the sun filtering through the window. She's free or as free as she could hope to be given the circumstances. She wonders when the nightmare that visits her every night will stop, when she will be able to forget. Although the Lana she used to be before that day would have had scruples, she knows that even then she'd have fought tooth and nail to protect those she loved.

She wonders if the course of action she's approved and that Louis has set in motion won't bring her closer to the edge of a precipice, some place really dark from which she might never escape. And, yet, this isn't just about retribution; it's a desperate measure to put an end to a bad dream and save more than one soul in the process, even if it means sacrificing her own.

"Lana?" comes a muffled voice behind her bedroom door.

Clark.

She wipes the tears away with the heels of her hands and shoots a glance at the alarm clock on her bedside table. Seven o'clock. She should have got up an hour ago to fix breakfast.

"Lana, is everything OK in there?" he repeats, his voice laced with concern. "May I come in?"

"Please, don't… I'm not decent…Everything's fine… Just didn't hear the clock. I'll be down in a minute…" she tells him, jumping out of bed and rushing into the bathroom to get out of her soaked nightdress.

"OK... I... have just come up to let you know I'm driving to Grandville. I have a few errands to run there and will probably not come back until three. Are you sure you're OK?"

"Yes, Clark. Stop worrying," she replies, coming back into the room and opening a drawer to pick what clothes to wear.

"OK. I'm off then. Kara's going to be around so if you need a hand with anything..."

Lana knows that Clark's been worried about her, that maybe she hasn't hidden her unrest so well as she thought but having him and his cousin hovering around as if she were about to implode is adding to her already stressful days. When she moved into the farm she'd thought it'd be her haven, that she'd feel protected; instead she's feeling stifled and anxious.

She needs to get away.

_FORDMAN'S DEPARTMENT STORE- SMALLVILLE_

It's half past eleven when Lana pushes the front door of the store which used to be owned by the parents of her high school boyfriend Whitney before George's widow decided to sell it to move west. The new management has modernised it without sacrificing its identity, the one which has managed to retain the loyalty of its local customers for sixty-four years. Stepping into the store is like going back in time when the only worries she had were how to tell Nell she'd quitted the cheerleading squad or what new coffee blend to offer the patrons at The Talon.

She can feel several pairs of eyes on her as she walks up the personal care aisle looking for her toiletries, feeling like a bug under a microscope, a phantom that's come out to play. Smallville does no longer see Lana Lang doing the shopping when they look at her now; she's just the ghost of Lex Luthor's former wife.

Half an hour later, she's queuing up to pick up her purchases at the wrapping counter.

It's a busy day at Fordman's and everyone who's just cashed his salary cheque seems to be in attendance. The queue's moving as slow as molasses and there are at least a dozen people in front of her when a young mother with a baby joins the queue.

_So, I have this dilemma. I can't decide between... stegosaurus or Mr. Duck._

The smell of talc powder and baby cologne brings back memories of her pregnancy and of Lex's dream of a happy family. Memories return to haunt her; memories of her old foolish insecurities and the way they hurt the wounded and sensitive man no one was allowed close enough but her to see.

_It sort of feels like you're in denial, like if no one finds out about the baby, it doesn't exist_

_Lex, do you know how many people are looking over my shoulder, second-guessing why I'm marrying you?_

_Am I that hard a sell?_

_I don't want people assuming that we're getting married because of this baby. I want them to know that I'm with you because I love you._

The queue moves a little forward, only to get stalled again as a customer notices there's been a mix-up over her purchase and an elderly lady remembers she's forgotten to ask for some gift-wrapping. Tempers flare and the raised voices from the front are punctuated by the baby's soft whimpering and its mother's soothing sounds.

Lana pulls up the cuff of her knitted cardigan and looks at her watch. Unlike the rest of the women standing in line she has no one waiting for her to come back; Clark's in Grandville and Kara's left for Metropolis and won't be back for a few hours. It isn't the need to return to the farm to prepare anyone's sustenance that is making her anxious, it's the baby's restlessness and what she's neglected to do in her own urgency to escape the farm and Kara's prying eyes.

The minutes are ticking slowly and she wonders if the Earth's rotation hasn't slowed down as well. All the voices and sounds around her are suddenly muted until all she can hear is the erratic beating of her heart; and she tries hard to focus on her breathing, wills the clerk behind the counter to hurry up. And then it happens; the soft baby whimpers turn into hungry wails.

It's past midday when he walks out of The Talon after collecting the books he's going to work on in the evening. The coffee house is hardly booming and he knows for certain he'd be making more money out of it if he reverted to his original plan and tore it down to build a car park.

_If The Talon is such a terrible investment, then why did you keep it this long? _

_I thought that was obvious. I did it for you. But you're leaving. And you're irreplaceable. So why hang onto something that's over?_

He's got the signed papers that say it's over and yet he can't resign himself to the idea, and so he clings to these bricks and mortar because he can't bring himself to sever the tie which started it all.

He tucks the books under one arm to unlock the Mercedes parked at the front without dropping the Styrofoam cup that holds his favourite coffee blend and, as he walks around the vehicle, he sees her across the street.

Leaving her paid shopping behind, Lana scrambles out of the department store and utters a few feeble excuse me's as she elbows her way through the front door. She's hyperventilating; the world around her has turned into a blur all of a sudden and she can feel her head begin to spin. As she tries to will herself to walk, a pedestrian bumps into her on the pavement and she loses her balance when her shaky legs wobble. Out of nowhere, a strong pair of arms appears to catch her, and the world is back in focus the second she hears his voice.

"Lana?"

Cedar, sandalwood and musk enwrap her, and she closes her eyes and pretends for a moment she's back in their bed at the Mansion, nestled against his body, safe and loved. She commits his scent and the feel of his hands to memory afraid she'll wake up one day and find the recollections gone.

"Lana?" he insists, his voice laced with concern when she jerks out of the cocoon of his arms and covers her ears to obliterate the baby cries that have followed her outside.

"Make it stop," she sobs, feeling the last thin thread of control slipping from her in front of Lex's haunted eyes.

_I had no right to keep this a secret. I wanted to tell you. I just...I wasn't sure._

_Of how I'd react? Lana...it's the best news I've ever heard._

_Really? _

_Yeah. The woman I love is carrying my child, our child. What more could a man want? _

"It's OK, Lana," he says quietly, seeing her tighten her knitted cardigan around her as if she needed extra warmth to keep her from shaking.

"No, it's not," she shakes her head.

"Let me buy you something hot to drink at The Talon," he tells her in a soothing voice, stepping closer.

"No… I can't…" she croaks, desperate to get away before the situation she's walked into gets completely out of hand. "I have to… leave."

"Lana, you're in no fit condition to drive. Let me…"

"Lex, you don't understand…" she says, her voice cracking when the young mother with the baby retraces her steps and starts to walk in their direction as she spots her husband waving at her from the corner where he's parked their SUV.

"I do. It was mine too," he tells her visibly shaken. "Lana, you can't let what happened destroy you," he cups her cheek with glassy eyes and she sees the fleeting look of pain in their depths as she starts to recoil from his touch just as the mother with the wailing child passes them by. And suddenly she has no strength left in her to fight anymore.

_Some things in life are just... out of your control. Sometimes you have to let go and leave it in the hands of a greater power._

_I lost our baby. I'm - I'm so sorry._

_Hey... it wasn't your fault._

_I have to know for sure. I need to get my files from Dr. Langston's office._

_We will. Lana, how can I make - how can I help make the pain go away? What can I do?_

Lex crosses the deserted coffee house with Lana in his arms and makes it straight for the stairs that lead to the apartment she used to inhabit before moving to Metropolis when she started university.

Rearranging her limp body, he knocks at the closed door and hears the sound of muffled music and the shuffling of a pair of feet.

"Lex?" frowns Chloe, opening the door to find her landlord with his former wife cradled in his arms. "What…?"

"I was leaving The Talon when she walked out of Fordman's looking completely lost. She passed out on the sidewalk," he explains. "Can we come in?"

"Yeah, sure…" she answers in a daze, stepping back and opening the door wider for him to cross the door with Lana. "Here… you can lay her on the bed," she suggests as he darts a few looks around the crammed apartment.

"Lana," he says quietly, sitting down on the side of the bed after removing her shoes. "She's lost at least a couple of pounds since I last saw her," he tells Chloe, noticing Lana's pallor and the dark circles under eyes. "Where's Clark?" he asks , looking into the reporter's intelligent eyes .

"I don't know, Lex," she snaps, resenting the accusation in his voice. "Contrary to popular belief we aren't joined at the hip."

"They live under the same roof. I can't believe he hasn't noticed something's wrong with her," he says coldly.

"Mm," moans the brunette, starting to come around.

"Lana," says Chloe, rushing to the other side of the bed.

"Ch… Chloe?" she stutters weakly, completely disoriented. "What… happened?

"You fainted on the street and Lex brought you here," explains Clark's sidekick.

"Easy…" he tells her as she tries to sit up.

"I need to… use your bathroom, Chloe," she says to her former roommate, avoiding looking at Lex and making an effort to keep the panic out of her voice.

"Of course. Do you want me to…?"

"No, I'll be fine…" Lana smiles weakly, wondering if she'll be able to salvage the situation once she finds herself alone in the bathroom.

"Leave the door unlocked, Lana … please," she hears him say as she starts to close it.

"What's going on here?" frowns Chloe, holding Lex's gaze unflinchingly. "If you've done anything to…"

"You can save your speech, Chloe. I haven't been in contact with her since our divorce and… _contrary to popular belief_ … I didn't marry her to spite Clark. We both had our share of blame in the failure of our marriage, but I would never consciously do anything to hurt her."

"I didn't imagine the panic in her eyes when she realised you were in the room or the way she avoided your gaze."

"Chloe…" Lana interrupts them, opening the door just a crack.

"Coming…"

"Luthor," replies Lex, flipping open his ringing mobile. "I'm tied up right now. What have you got for me?" he asks the caller, shooting an anxious glance at the bathroom door, which clicks shut behind Chloe. "No, I'll take it from here. "

"Lana… what?" gasps the blonde reporter as she takes in the appearance of her old high school rival.

"Chloe, promise you won't say anything," she begs Clark's best friend, her voice cracking.

"How…? I don't understand… When…?" asks Chloe completely baffled.

"If I hadn't been so stifled on the farm today, I wouldn't have been at Fordman's when I was and this wouldn't have happened. I've never been this careless and now… I've never intended to involve anyone else in this mess, least of all you, but…. He can't know."

"But it can't be… How is it possible? I…Why? Why can't he know? What makes you so afraid of him? "

"I'm not afraid of Lex. I fear for him and … Chloe, I don't know what happened between you two while I was gone or why you hate him so much…"

"You must know. You were married to him when he did what he did to me and my mom."

"I'm not the same woman… I've got a lot of explaining to do. I just need you to trust me when I tell you Lex isn't the irredeemable monster you believe him to be. I never left his side willingly…"

"I thought Lionel had blackmailed you into marrying Lex."

"What? No, you've got it all wrong. He's blackmailing me know. I need your help, Chloe; and so does Lex. I know it might be a lot to ask but … if Lex finds out , he'll do something rash and … you know what his father did to him once, and then there's…" she stifles a sob.

"OK, coloured me intrigued. I'm really confused. I still don't like your ex-husband and I'm doing this for you and … I'll get rid of him and_ then _we're going to talk."

"Thanks," she smiles relieved.

"I'll see what I can do about the clothes."

Chloe steps out of the bathroom and shoots a glance at the back of the bald billionaire, who's snapping orders to someone she assumes to be a minion. With all the water that's run under the bridge and the open enmity between him and Clark, which reached its pinnacle when Lana chose him over the farmboy, she would have thought there was no shred of sympathy left in her for Lex.

_Lex, I thought you'd be sharpening your shiv behind bars by now._

_Someone else confessed._

_Once again, a Luthor snake manages to slither away from the grip of justice. How much did you have to pay this poor guy?_

_I didn't pay him anything. Apparently, my father did before he disappeared. The man who confessed happens to be dying of cancer. He wanted his family taken care of._

_It doesn't matter what legal sleight of hand you pulled this time, Lex -it's not bringing Lana back._

_What if she isn't dead, Chloe?_

_Lex, you're already free. You don't need to keep coming up with more convoluted conspiracy theories._

Although she hates admitting it, it seems she'll have to eat the words she spat at him in The Daily Planet underground garage. Well, at least she has the consolation of knowing she's never bought Lionel's miraculous redemption act.

And so she prepares to conspire with Lana, wishing this time they'll be able to slay the dragon and save more than one soul in the process, including that of the young man she hopes still resides somewhere inside the ruthless businessman standing in her kitchen.

**A/N: :** The flashbacks in italics have been taken verbatim from "Talisman ","Static", "Crimson", "Combat" and "Kara".


	6. Captive

**CHAPTER 6:Captive**

Fighting his urge to stay and talk Lana into seeing someone who could help her deal with the grief and the depression she's clearly going through, he listens to Chloe's entreats and decides to give his former wife some space, curve his over-protective and obsessive nature to avoid making the same mistakes that drove her away from him in the first place.

The call that he's just received will help him keep focused and, God willingly, provide him with answers to the questions Lois' words planted in his mind when he walked on her as she was trying to hack into his computer at LuthorCorp Plaza.

_"It's not a secret that you purchased land by the dam where you were conducting illegal experiments. "_

"I never authorized the purchase of any land by the dam. "

"Well, not to be callous, but with your dad M.I.A., there aren't a whole lot of Luthors around these days with authorization privileges. "

Although Lois isn't the accomplished investigative reporter Chloe is, she's proven to be a thorn in his side on more than one occasion, and she's got good instincts. Lex would have been a fool to disregard her suspicions, which were well-founded based on both what his surveillance team discovered during their stakeout and what his P.I. managed to dig up. Louis Leclerc. Lex hadn't heard that name in years, not since one summer holiday when a teenager around his age stormed into Lionel's office at LuthorCorp accusing Luthor Sr of killing his father, Florian Leclerc.

Lex has never believed in coincidences. Louis has a cousin in Shanghai, a nun serving at an orphanage just a few blocks away from where Lana used to live.

Lex parks his car at a safe distance from his destination, making sure it´s well camouflaged by the dense vegetation. The old hunting cottage which his team's been surveilling's well-hidden amidst the trees and, if it weren't for the fact Lex has intel that tells him otherwise, he'd have taken it for an abandoned building. There's not even a chopping stump or a pile of wood outside; the new owners must have modernised the heating system, maybe bought some oil radiator heaters to avoid the telltale smoke coming out of the chimney.

There's no love lost between Lex and his father, and the urge to let things run their natural course is strong. Just as Louis Leclerc, the young scion knows what it's like to be driven by the thirst for revenge, especially when the target is called Lionel Luthor. However, staying away would mean wasting a chance to find out what role his father played in Lana's disappearance, for Lex can't shake off the suspicion of Lionel's involvement now.

Unholstering his automatic, he advances stealthily towards the wooden back door, which is surprisingly unlocked. Even though he doesn't know what he's going to find on crossing the threshold, he welcomes the idea of putting an end to the disquieting feeling provoked by his people's inability to provide him with proof of his father's status and whereabouts.

The room he steps into is crammed with plants at various stages of growth; lit lamps hang from the rafters to hasten their development. And the first thing that assaults him is the strong smell of natural fertiliser coming from the barrel in the corner, where worms are diligently oxygenating the black soil for later use. As he walks further into the cabin his nostrils pick up something else- sweat and the acrid smell of blood.

"Dad?" he gasps, rushing to the wooden bed, which has seen better days. "You're alive. I never gave up on you," he adds, starting to undo the binds with which his father's been secured to the bedpost.

"Lex, why did you do this? " seethes a sweaty Lionel Luthor in a bloodied vest.

"But I see you've given up on me," replies the young billionaire, hating the disappointment which taints his own voice.

Some things never change. He wonders why he bothers; Lionel Luthor's never going to give him the only thing Lex's ever wanted from him. And now, the only thing that should matter is getting the answers he's come here for.

"Don't you make me pull the trigger," says a female voice at Lex's back, cocking the shotgun she's holding with slightly shaky hands.

"Easy," Lex tells her in a soothing tone, relinquishing his gun and raising up his arms as she has him move away from the bed.

"We can't all be heroes, Lex. Besides, I read about you Luthors. Lionel would rather stick around and have his other wrist broken than be saved by you," she chuckles, aiming her shotgun at the younger man's chest.

"Dad. Dad! Dad! " he shouts wide-eyed when he sees his father attack the woman from behind and slam a blunt object on her head repeatedly.

The savagery and viciousness with which Lionel crushes his captor's skull stuns Lex and makes him question his progenitor's sanity; that is before a memory from two years ago comes back to haunt him.

_He was about to kill you, Lex.  
Or divulge something you didn't want me to know.  
_

Is this death a desperate man's attempt to stop the truth from coming to the surface? Lex is determined not to allow this bloodshed to be another Jason in his father's record.

_THE KENTS' BARN- THE FOLLOWING AFTERNOON_

Lana finished her household chores half an hour ago; dinner's ready in the oven and the vegetables for the salad are clean in the fridge awaiting Clark's arrival. She still has almost an hour and a half to herself, an hour and a half which she might have spent on a walk or a drive to the town. However, venturing out is just too risky; she might ruin her fragile cover either by bumping into Lex again or being late just like it happened yesterday. Hanging out on the farm isn't the perfect plan for a hideout and it won't prevent Lex from seeking her out, but it's the closest thing to a safe haven she knows while the two cousins are away.

Standing at the barn window, she closes her eyes and tries to empty her mind. She's missed the skies of Kansas and its sunsets and wishes she could recapture the innocence of her teenage years when she would come to this very barn and watch the sun set in silence next to the young farm boy she once thought would grow old with her.

"Lex told me you're living here now. Well, you haven't wasted much time getting back to your roots, have you? " asks the man whose voice has haunted both her sleeping and her waking hours for months on end.

"Lionel, I heard what happened. Are you okay? " she asks with feigned concern, wiping off the smile she had ready on her face when she turned around believing him to be Clark.

"It's hardly reassuring to read your own obituary, but you should know that, I suppose, shouldn't you?"

"They said that you were being held captive by a crazy woman."

"Indeed I was," he chuckles before glaring at her. "_You."_

"I would never be involved in something like that. " she frowns, mentally adding Unlike You...

_"How is she?" asked Mack, the youngest guard Lex had left in charge of Lana's security while he was away on business._

"Just a little shaken," she heard Dr. Langston say as she lay in the hospital bed drowsy from the sedative the physician had injected her.

"I want her transferred to a secure room."

"Uh, there might be a place we can use in the old wing. Your team could completely secure that area," suggested the doctor.

"Do it," replied Mack before picking his walkie-talkie and informing his real employer that everything was ready for take-off.

"Oh, please. Whoever would believe that after faking your own death? Lex gave me the details, which leaves only one question unanswered. How much does Clark know? "

Lana starts wondering if the old man has finally taken complete leave of his senses to the point that he's starting to believe his own lies. She trembles now as much for Lex as for the well-being of the clueless farm boy and her only confidante, Chloe. She loathes having brought this looming threat to their doorstep but she can't give up now when the truth's so close to be revealed.

"I'm sure that he's thrilled that you are alive and well. " she smiles, feeling the taste of bile in her mouth.

"Are we talking about Clark or my own flesh and blood- Lex? I'm sure that you have managed to convince yourself that your love could protect him half a world away. You may have lost the Luthor name in the eyes of the world, but it's the Luthor instincts that keep those claws of yours sharp."

"You shouldn't wound what you can't kill, Mr Luthor."

"Be careful, Lana. We had a deal. Don't forget. Judas hung himself with his own rope."

"I've never been one of your apostles. Get out," she spits at him.

˜*˜*˜*˜*˜*˜*˜*˜*˜*˜*˜*˜*˜*˜*˜*˜*˜*˜*˜*˜*˜*˜*˜*˜  
Eating dinner and pretending in front of Clark that everything's fine is an ordeal she's finding hard to handle. She goes through the motions like an automaton, praying her conscience won't betray her for she hasn't got the strength left to confess twice within twenty-four hours- sharing her pain with Chloe was trying enough.

"I've finished the dishes," she tells Clark, who's sitting in the sofa, watching the Sharks' game on TV. "Would you mind turning off the lights before going upstairs?"

"Is everything OK?" he asks her concerned, turning down the volume.

"Yes," she smiles. "It's just a mild headache. Nothing that a good night's sleep won't cure."

"All right. I won't be long; the game should be over in about twenty minutes."

"Stay up as long as you want. Once I lay my head on the pillow, I won't hear a thing... Goodnight," she starts to climb up to the guest room.

"See you in the morning," smiles Clark with a forlorn look in his eyes, which makes her feel like a worm.

˜*˜*˜*˜*˜*˜*˜*˜*˜*˜*˜*˜*˜*˜*˜*˜*˜*˜*˜*˜*˜*˜*˜*˜  
Locked up in the bathroom, she finishes her evening ritual, buttons up her long nightdress and wipes off a few stray tears as she pushes down the flush handle and the liquid she's just poured into the toilet bowl disappears into the sewage system.

She can't wait for the nightmare to be finally over and hopes that both the boy she once loved and the man whose love has kept her alive will find it in their hearts to forgive her.

**A/N 2:Several of the flashback dialogues in italics have been taken verbatim from "Action" (7x5), "Forever (4x21)" and "Trespass" (6x14). I've also drawn to some extent material from the original source to write the scenes featuring Lionel.**

**TBC**


End file.
